A bootcamp I will never forget

It was raining pitchforks, as I sat in my car contemplating what I should do next. I waited as time passed by slowly..15 minutes..20...25 minutes, and then I got out!

I put my nikes on and ran through the open field. At first, it felt all wet and boggy. I wasn’t sure what was driving me, but soon I stopped worrying about my clothes and shoes...I decided to just do it!

This was an event I had organised for my company, and it had just been 3 weeks since I started work here. I have joined Phyzo - an app that helps you to discover and connect with gyms and fitness studios near you and book a session by purchasing a day pass. No more 6-months-membership programme that I will probably use only a handful of times and then hate myself for wasting all that money. 

This event was inspired by the Indian Military Bootcamp and had a rigorous regimen. It was meant to start at 6:15 AM but I didn't see a soul when I got there. I feared the event was going to be a washout. 

A few more minutes passed, and lo and behold, I saw a few people entering the park like they were on a mission. I enquired if they were here for the camp. They responded with infectious fervour - 'Yes, we are!' It had begun.

After half an hour, the stupendous field of grass was full: people had lined up ten deep. They were not only willing but quite excited to go through this hardcore camp together. Everyone followed the trainer's instructions diligently, in the pouring rain, all while shouting at the top of their lungs, while having fun the entire time. The rain persevered, but so did we. It was 90 minutes of crunching our stomach, lunging, dragging our bodies through the wet ground and jumping as high as our tired quads could push us! 

Absolutely nothing was going to stop us! Not even the rain drops piercing our eyes, as we lay flat on our backs. We got up covered in mud and sweat but no one cared. By the end of it we all shared a sense of euphoria.

It was one of the the most exhilarating experiences I have ever been through. It was magical almost, liberating - for I did not care about the unfavourable circumstances; adrenalin had taken over. I can now proudly say that I have completed my first ever Military Boot Camp.

Things that make a difference in everyday living……Tried and Tested!

• Clean your handbag once in every week- parking stub, movie ticket, boarding pass, empty mineral water bottle, credit card slips, elastic bands- basically anything that is meant to make “use me” useful. It will help you clear your thoughts.

•  Clean your wardrobe every week- take out the unused clothes, give away those pants that don’t fit you anymore, donate the old sweaters and maintain separate files for clothing. The same stands for the drawers.

• Go out for a peaceful walk when you’re not feeling Okay. Likely situations- you’re confused, angry, nervous, and helpless. It helps you think clearly. If not, it just takes your mind off heavy stuff for some time.

•  Once in a while it’s good to detox your body and mind. Just have juices, salads, fruits and good thoughts the whole day and treat your body as a temple; mind as a Bodhi Tree.

• Go shopping but buy for somebody else instead. The handbag that your mom has been asking for, the make-up that your sister wants, the shirt that your brother will love, the dress material that your house help will appreciate. Just do it!

•  Make your bed, clean your bathroom, prepare your dinner, iron your clothes, buy groceries once in a while and spend time with yourself.

These things help me put my system in a system and helps me examine my own mental and emotional state. At the end, it feels good.

Make your own list :)

My life- the way I emote and live!

Stop overthinking. Not everyone is as good at expressing their thoughts. Not everyone is good at listening to yours. Not everybody is equipped with the same sensitivity socket.

Stop blaming your past, your childhood tragedy for your behavior in the present. Trust me it's just a way of telling people that you're a certain person because of what happened 10000 years ago; which might be true but not justifiable to everyone. 

Stop taking life too seriously. Start living. Parents will grow old. Siblings will no longer be your only secret keepers. Friends will have their own lives and KIDS. Everybody will change and get on with life so should you. 

People are there to respond to only happy thoughts and conversations. It only makes sense. Everybody has their own problems to deal with. Move on and stop claiming that you have the worst possible life and situations to deal with. 

Live on the dreams you have saved for tomorrow. Thrive on the oodles of joy you get because your younger brother just had a baby. Your cousin got engaged. Your baby sister passed out of college. Your best friend got proposed to. You got a promotion. Your roommate found a bigger and a better place for both of you. You planned a trip with your best friend. You slept peacefully last night. All this and more!

Last but not the least-

Don't be afraid to experience melancholy. Don't fear sadness and tearful heartache. Don't avoid being mad, upset and gloomy. 

Give yourself time to seep in these emotions but get up the next day/ moment and tell yourself you are ready to face the world without any inhibitions. You're ready. 

You are you and you have the right to feel the way you do when you do. You will still laugh hard, crack not-so-funny jokes and have a fucking awesome time at a Saturday night party. For real. 

I say-

Emotions are a part of me. An organ that helps me get along with life. 

I am not necessarily depressed when I cry to my heart's extent and I am not necessarily on ecstasy when I guffaw till my belly hurts. 

I just live. 

I am a non-emotive emotional duck

 I am a non-emotive emotional duck. 

Definitions:

Non-emotive- cold, don’t respond radically, stoic.

Emotional- characterized by intense feeling. 

Duck- I just sit on a problem like a duck.

So complex. These feelings are. So complicated. These emotions are. Fuck. What did we think? Was it easy to just get out of our mother’s womb and start living. What if I did not want to get out at all? Nobody asked me if I was ready.

I am a product of the marriage of a really happy giggly spirit and an insensitive thick-skinned soul. How am I supposed to turn out? A Happy/Warm/Sensible body of life ? Or a Tear-jerking lost energy? May be, a mess. Except that I am completely normal.

Yeah, sometimes I am a non-recognizable anthropoid. Sometimes a dumb clay of skin and veins. Sometimes a lost soul. Sometimes a non-emotive emotional duck.

Sometimes I go out for a nice meal, eat a dark chocolate, drink a nice wine, cry in my bed, wear my best pyajamas and dance funnily, sleep while watching a rom-com. 

Wake up in the morning to find my life absolutely normal. 

The cycle repeats, come full circle and I remain a non-emotive emotional duck. And, I thought that ‘change is constant’.